I'm forever taking inspiration from Electric Bastionland by Christ McDowall and especially the list of failed careers. There’s something so beautiful about explaining a culture through the people that have failed in it. It resonates with me for some reason…
Anyway, it's my hope that for the Celestial Coast I can replicate that feeling I first got when reading through that d100 list of failures. However, as someone who has already tried writing 10 failed careers for my UVG hack, I understand how time consuming these things are to write. Coming up with twelve different and interesting variables for each career takes time. They're hard to just sit down and write and I'm constantly updating and tweaking them.
Instead of doing an absolutely mad 100 failed careers, I'm streamlining it down to a much more manageable thirty-six. At the moment my plan is to do eighteen careers for each of the two main nationalities within the setting - The Gualle Republic and The Kingdom of Caligari. I want to explore how much world building I can imply in these lists and how much juxtaposition between the two nations I can present. Throwing in as many weird items and fun circumstances I can think of. While at the same time leaving enough room for imagianative improvistation at the table.
These are the first six for the Gualle Republic. I'd be interested in seeing how much of the world can be inferred through reading these.
1- Revolutionary Baker - During the chaos you fed the stomach of rebellion. Now the trumpets of defiance have quietened and you’ve been left hungry for more.
You get: Bread Peel (d6), Rolling pin, a loaf of bread
What kind of bread do you have?
£1 - Pain de Monium - the bread that started the revolution. A cheap crusty loaf baked with crude flour. When eaten, it has a 50/50 chance of breaking a tooth.
£2 - Santé Saint - the sacred bread of the Saintly Martyrs. A dense loaf made by combining cow’s blood with rye grain. Having a pocketful of Santé Saint crumbs is seen as a sign of piety.
£3 - Verde Cake - a cheap bun made with the water used to boil seasonal greens. Known for its bitter taste and vivid green colour, it is supposedly good for health and virility.
£4 - Fügassa - a delicacy of the Celestial Coast. A fluffy loaf made by kneading dough with sea salt and olive oil. Sharing a loaf with strangers is a sign of hospitality.
£5 - Petit Krone - cultured bread from the old regime. Fermented dough mixed with butter and lard and kneaded into a complex spiral shape. A sign of opulence and decadence.
£6 - Bread Batons - new bread for a new nation. Long, crusty loves produced using the latest star powered baking technology. Usable as a one-time weapon (d6).
What smuggled good from the revolution is baked into your loaf?
1HP - A fragment of highly explosive sunstone (d10 blast).
2HP - A single-shot flintlock pistol (d6).
3HP - A satchel of noxious yeast (anyone that breathes it in becomes violently ill for d6 hours).
4HP - A makeshift shiv (d6).
5HP - A bottle of extremely potent roewine.
6HP - A large anti-royalist flag.
You get: Sundial Scepter (d6), Sparkly robes
What solar prototype you designed do you still have?
£1 - Luminary Replicator - A copper camera that remembers a single image of a person or item it has seen. A life-life three dimensional illusionary replication of the image can then be projected onto surfaces.
£2 - Heliocopter (bulky) - A backpack sized engine attached to a propeller. Able to lift a single person off the ground in any direction. When used has a 1 in 6 chance of malfunctioning and propelling the user in a random direction at great speed.
£3 - Sun Shades - A pair of thick goggles that when worn allows you to see any source of light within 20 meters even if the light source is through a wall and other solid objects.
£4 - Soliscope - a brass telescope that stores sunlight. When fully charged it can unleash a beam of radiant light, whoever it’s pointed at becomes blinded and impaired for d6 minutes.
£5 - A glass flask of liquid light. A waxy lava-like substance that emits a dull light which slowly changes colour. Anyone that stares at the lamp for more than a minute becomes hypnotically docile.
£6 - Cosmicompass - a copper compass that always points towards the sun.
Why were you kicked out of the academy?
1HP - A failed experiment caused an explosive scene in the academy. Take a scorched bust of the Empress-in-Exile (bulky).
2HP - Wrote a cautionary paper on the dangers of solar radiation and mutation. You glow neon pink when in darkness.
3HP - Caught pilfering in the academy’s supply room. Take a solar-powered stapler.
4HP - Found attending an underground lecture proposing the existence of a second sun. Take a broken steel orrery.
5HP - Discovered to be related to a prominent royalist. Take a defaced family portrait.
6HP - Deemed too light sensitive to work on the finer solar arts. You are impaired when in direct sunlight without eye protection.
3 - Deep Star Diver - In the Midnight Ocean thousands of fallen stars shine deep below the water’s surface. It was your job to dive down and retrieve them.
You get: Harpoon (d6), a ragged wetsuit
What was the most prized object you found underneath the ocean?
£1 - A pair of conch knuckle-dusters (both d6).
£2 - A singing pearl. A fist sized orb, when rubbed, emits an ethereal song - anyone who hears it must make a CHR save or be drawn towards the pearl.
£3 - The Eel Crown. Wearing the crown turns you into a swarm of eels for d6 minutes. Whilst you are eels you can't interact with any items an eel could not use or hold.
£4 - A tame marble octopus (2hp, d6 stone-tentacles).
£5 - A crab-legged treasure chest that safely carries up to six objects and follows you everywhere.
£6 - An intricate algae rope net that sticks to any wet surface.
How were you changed by the stars below?
1HP - You hear the whispered secrets of fish.
2HP - You can regurgitate any liquid you swallow in a spray that can reach up to 10m.
3HP - Your skin can harden into a crustacean-like shell (armour 1).
4HP - You have sprouted a gland that produces black ink whenever you are in danger.
5HP - Your sweat is poisonous and causes d6 STR damage to anyone that tastes it.
6HP - Your hair has been replaced by thick spiky needles.
You get: A poorly tailored suit, a departmental pocket-watch inscribed with your name incorrectly spelt
Which department did you work in?
£1 - The Imperial Department of Solar Research, Technology and Industry. You have a 50/50 chance of understanding exactly how any solar based technology works and was manufactured. Even when you’re wrong you believe you’re right.
£2 - The Noir Cabinet. You have a connection in Gualle’s shadowy underworld that you may contact for information about illegal activities.
£3 - The Ministry of Finance Services & Serviceable Finances. You can find any lost file, paper or book in any room.
£4 - The Office of Mail, Telegraphy and Semaphores. Take a pair of signaling flags.
£5 - The Central Bureau of Equality, Egality & Fraternity. You have been awarded the right to commit one crime within the Gualle Republic without repercussions.
£6 - The General Commission for the Gualle language and the languages of Gualle. You can use archaic grammatical and syntactical rules to expertly mock anyone’s speech or writing.
What did you daydream of during your life of endless administration?
1HP - Captaining a ship of maniking pirates on the hunt for a colossal storm squid. Take a tricorne hat and wooden cutlass (d6).
2HP - Discovering an ancient tomb filled with treasures from the Marble Empire. Take an unwieldy pickaxe (d8 bulky).
3HP - Performing in an outrageous neo-decadent play to a shocked public. Take a grotesque mask and leather whip (d6).
4HP - Finding romance in the spiced winds of the Lunar Archipelago. Take a crescent sword (d6).
5HP - Mastering the natural sciences and becoming a master botanist. Take a carnivorous orchid (4HP, bite d6).
6HP - Winning big at the Nova Azure Casino in Monte Vega. Take a deck of cards and a pair of loaded dice.
5 - Bitter Musketeer - A once great hero of the republic you have been forgotten by the changing face of the Gualle.
You get: Old military clothing, a feathered cap
What weapon did you take with you when you left the military?
£1 - Cavalry Sword (d6+d8 when on horseback)
£2 - Long Musket (d10, bulky, takes a turn to reload)
£3 - Heavy Sabre (d8 bulky)
£4 - Spontoon Spear (d6+d8 against opponents larger than you)
£5 - Flintlock pistol (d6)
£6 - Pistol Sword (d6+d6, weapon breaks on a roll of two 1s)
How did you gain your military renown?
1HP - Led a regiment of Boarpigs during the Revolutionary wars. Take a defective hand grenade.
2HP - Survived the failed campaign for the frozen Undernorth. Take a bloodstained fur coat.
3HP - Helped liberate the capital from royalists during the siege of Lumnier. Take a worthless medal of valour.
4HP - Accepted into the Empress’ Personal Guards. Take a corroded copper mask.
5HP - Part of the force that recaptured the Umbra Peninsular. Take an elderly pet lynx (2hp).
6HP - Fought in the baffling Battle of Verisimilitude. Take a broken mirror that doesn't show your reflection.
6 - Experimental Perfumer - You were at the cutting edge of smells until you created a scent too strange even for this new age.
You get: An incredible sense of smell, a fragrant sword (d6), a vial of perfume
What phenomenally rare ingredient does your perfume consist of?
£1 - The earthy musk gland of the Great White Truffalo. A strange fungal infection is growing on your torso.
£2 - Oils made from the heliotropic living lavender stolen from the laboratories of the Natural Philosophers. Your fingers are permanently stained a pale purple colour.
£3 - Carbonated ambergris procured from deep within the Midnight Ocean. At night you hear the haunted cry of the dreaded astral whale.
£4 - Phosphorus dust sifted from the craters of fallen stars. Your eyes are cloudy and twinkle like a thousand distant suns.
£5 - Lemons preserved in melted cloud water from the peaks of the Lupine Mountain. Severe frostbite has left one of your feet completely numb and blistered.
£6 - Bat guano collected from sacred caves near the Cochlea Abbey. Your teeth are all incredibly thin and sharp.
What effect is caused by your perfume?
1HP - When smelling the perfume faces seen are indescribable and impossible to remember.
2HP - Animals that smell the perfume enter into a blind rage and attack anyone wearing it.
3HP - The perfume smells exactly like whatever the smeller most desires.
4HP - A corpse that smells the perfume whispers a single word to describe the last thing they smelt before death.
5HP - Any sleeping or unconscious person that smells the perfume believes one false memory they are told is true.
6HP - Anyone smelling your perfume has a 50/50 of always lying or always telling the truth.
